Bistro on the corner

OMG this is so tragic! i am so sorry dear. please stay strong. the dust WILL settle and life WILL go on, even if it takes some time. Make sure you have a support system of family and friends, and if all fails we ARE your virtual family and friends and you can always count us here to give you at least some psychological boost. sometimes this is all one need to get yourself together and move on.

hugs!!!!!!

I am so sorry for your lost. Don't worry about not being on this board for awhile. Hopefully. Family and friends will help you though this. Stay Strong, but if you need to cry , cry don't hold it in.

I feel so badly for you Erin. Wishing you strength and clarity.

Could you please check your PM's one more time, dear? Sorry!  

Erin, so sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you right now. Know that all of us are here for you, and are here to listen.

Please make sure you take care of yourself. Make sure you eat and sleep, and don't be afraid to cry or scream and let it all out--you need that realease. I hope that you have friends or family that you can reach out to help you. And if things are overwhelming, please seek out someone to talk to (or reach out to us, we're all here to listen and support you).

Grieving is a tough thing, especially when you lose a loved one for the first time. Know that it is normal to be angry and depressed. Someone once told me that the grieving process can take a full year (and I found that to be true when I lost my mom). You'll have good days and bad days, but you'll get through it and find a new normal.

Hang in there.

Thank you everyone for the kind words, prayers, thoughts, and PMs.  Today my father, my siblings, and I have been making funeral arrangements and retrieved my mother's belongings and suicide note from the police, so I couldn't reply to everyone until now.  I'm not....okay, but trying to get through the days, and just endure.  Focusing on things like washing the dishes, doing laundry, just doing what needs to be done, is helping to distract me from crying all day.  Taking pills to help me sleep.

I was born in Ohio, not Utah, so the majority of my family live in the eastern United States.  My father lives in New Mexico.  My siblings live here, but one can't support another person in her home and the other, my older brother, works at a natural gas rig and is gone most of every month.  But I did find a friend who offered to let me live with her, eventually for a small rent fee, once I get on my feet.  It'll take a long time for anywhere to feel like home again, but at least I'll have a place to sleep and heal.  I wanted everyone here to know I had somewhere to go, since I was uncertain about it the other day, and so you won't worry.

Thank God you have a place to stay, Erin, that was indeed one of my greatest worries about you. As long as you have a safe place to give you some grounding you can start healing and picking up the pieces from there on. Bless your friend.

With the risk of sounding like an overconcerned auntie: take good care of yourself. As others have already said: eat and sleep as good as possible under the circumstances, rely on help from others without feeling too guilty about that, and don't try to control your feelings too much, just let it all out whenever you feel like it.

Mourning is a long and kind of unpredictable process, and your loss comes with several extra heavy burdens on top of that due to the circumstances.
What I'm trying to say is: don't be surprised or ashamed of any feelings you might experience along the way, at all kinds of odd hours and moments. And that includes very sad feelings and good feelings (don't stop seeing the good things!), and even angry or selfish feelings sometimes. None of that is bad: they are all feelings that might help you recover.

Take care of yourself, hold on, we're here for you.

Thank God you at least have a place to stay! And please don't worry about our feelings right now...just focus on healing. Praying for you.

I second Glorfindel in saying-- Bless your friend. I am very relieved to hear that you have a place to stay for now. I'm sorry to hear that staying with your family isn't a viable option for you. Sometimes, it helps to be around people who share your grief, as you can then be a source of strength and support to each other.

Take care of yourself. May you find peace and strength in the these tumultuous circumstances. We're here if you need us.

Still thinking of you, dear. We're all here and ready if/when you need us. I hope you're okay.

saw this on the web:

i didn't know they did the single ladie's dance in ancient time:

this is just ridiculous. it's 1 am here and it's like 30°C outside and god only knows how warm it is in my apartment. where the hell is the t-storm with heavy rain that i have been promised by the weather service. they have been drowning on and on about weather disasters all over europe and it's been 35°C + for weeks now. i'm beyond ready for the summer to end.

fantastica wrote:saw this on the web:

i didn't know they did the single ladie's dance in ancient time:

If my memory serves me right someone tweeted that picture to Chris a few years back (season 1 or 2 of Glee), and he tweeted back to them (but I don't remember what he tweeted).

get ready for global warming. at least we humans have air conditioners and ice cream. poor polar bears don't even get to eat!  and the corals are dying world wide due to rising temperatures (plus pollution and boat/fishing damages). the world is ending soon. we are the devil. Hallelujah.

fantastica wrote:saw this on the web:

i didn't know they did the single ladie's dance in ancient time:

LMAO! That picture is a classic!

ivana you are my borg queen!

My little sister went back to school today. It felt kinda weird not having to get up early.

Kurt Hummel wrote:My little sister went back to school today. It felt kinda weird not having to get up early.

How old is she?

And are you going to college or has decided to take a sabbatical year?

brisallie wrote:

Kurt Hummel wrote:My little sister went back to school today. It felt kinda weird not having to get up early.

How old is she?

And are you going to college or has decided to take a sabbatical year?

She's 9. I'm not sure what I want to do so I've just been enjoying my time relaxing.

Kurt Hummel wrote:

brisallie wrote:

Kurt Hummel wrote:My little sister went back to school today. It felt kinda weird not having to get up early.

How old is she?

And are you going to college or has decided to take a sabbatical year?

She's 9. I'm not sure what I want to do so I've just been enjoying my time relaxing.

She's pretty young. I thought was older.

And what about getting a job?

brisallie wrote:

Kurt Hummel wrote:

brisallie wrote:

Kurt Hummel wrote:My little sister went back to school today. It felt kinda weird not having to get up early.

How old is she?

And are you going to college or has decided to take a sabbatical year?

She's 9. I'm not sure what I want to do so I've just been enjoying my time relaxing.

She's pretty young. I thought was older.

And what about getting a job?

I'm the oldest out of all of my siblings even through I don't look like it.  

Maybe...I'm still kinda thinking about what I want to do now.

The past week I haven't posted much. That's because last friday I got a severe backpain (lumbago) which rendered me completely motionless for 3 days. Basically: the muscles in my back all went haywire at the same time, cramped up and stayed 'frozen' for a long time, which is very painful and humiliating I can tell you now. I literally couldn't move for 3 freaking days.
I had to take morfine and other painkillers for almost a week (which left me unpleasantly groggy), and my husband had to take time off from work to take care of me like I was a little baby.

Fortunately I'm healing now. I can sit upright again, walk (shuffle) to the bathroom and back, and today I managed to tackle the stairs downstairs to have diner with my family again. According to the doctor I will be back to almost functioning normally in another week (which I fervently hope, because we'll be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary then).

Lesson learned: never take anything for granted, you never know how fast your plans/life can change. 
And take time to smell the roses whenever you can, because you may not get another chance soon.

Oh no! Take it easy though. It's so easy to think it's better sooner than it actually is, so shuffle on slowly, until it's sure it won't strike again.

Sorry to hear that Glorfindel. Glad you're getting better!  

Sometimes I have pain in my lower back but it's because of the way my spine is.