Chris Colfer Tweets

• At the ga listening to Lady GymGym... Erg, it's early, you get it...

• The last thing I want is a witness while working on my fitness.

• Is the treadmill going to ask for my blood type next? Can I just run please?
  

• I hate getting recognized with the post-gym glow.
  

• I hate the treadmill. I run like a duck with an enema.
  

• Note to self: While on the treadmill you may lip-sync to the songs on your iPod but DO NOT dance along. You look like an idiot.
  

• Amber Riley: "Tiiiiiiiiiiin Roof, RUSTED!"- @chriscolfer lol best part of the song
  
  Chris Colfer: @MsAmberPRiley "And I Will Always Love You," best part of my life. Ms. Houston is bragging about you in heaven.
  
  Lea Michele: Except I thought it was "tin roof Mustard!!!" haha

• Grant Gustin: @chriscolfer Some people are drawing some pretty incredible pictures of you...
  
  Chris Colfer: @grantgust Stop pretending they're not from you.
  
  Grant Gustin: @chriscolfer I thought my switching up the styles would throw you off... Guess not.

• Chris Colfer: Warbler self defense 101 with @curtmega and @DominicMBarnes, filmed by @rikerR5. Don't be intimidated. twitpic.com/7w35n1
  
  Dominic Barnes: @chriscolfer @curtmega @rikerR5 lol that dummy didn't stand a chance!!! Lesson learned: Don't mess with Chris ; )
  
  Curt Mega: @chriscolfer we learned the from the master... you taught us well, master

• Chris Colfer: I'm so proud of Glee for always tackling sensitive issues and giving a voice to many who often go unheard. @MrMaxAdler you're amazing!
  
  Max Adler: And of course, a big, giant, humongous thank you to the best scene partner a guy could ever ask for, Mr. @chriscolfer
  
  Max Adler: Woah! We just tweeted each other in the same minute @chriscolfer. The synchronicity is still surging eh!?
  
  Chris Colfer: Haha! Serendipitweet!
  
  Max Adler: @chriscolfer Hahahaha! A serendipitweet indeed! Again, phenomenal work. Always such a pleasure and a true treat getting to work with you.

• Darren Criss: Was out for sushi when all of a sudden I heard myself and @chriscolfer singing 'baby it's cold outside,'which isn't even the best part... Considering that it came on right after Andrea Bocelli's version of 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.' Now THAT was awesome #UMyBoyAndrea
  
  Chris Colfer: I wonder how many people listen to @DarrenCriss and I sing "Baby It's Cold Outside" and don't realize it's two men.
  
  Darren Criss: I don't sound like a woman that much!

• Chris Colfer: Watching the news. How are animals still escaping from the zoo? We have hovercrafts but we can’t invent a monkey-proof lock?
  
  Darren Criss: @chriscolfer dude the monkeys want IN on the hovercrafts that’s why they’re busting loose. THAT’S the problem.
  
  Chris Colfer: @DarrenCriss Now I’m thinking of monkeys driving hovercrafts and being chased by zoo keepers. I’ve been laughing for hours, thanks DC.

• Watch what happened when I asked a fish at the Sydney Aquarium if they were a Glee fan. I promise it's real! http://www.tinyurl.com/gleefish

• One of my favorite sentences ever: "The cow was utterly challenged." Haha!

• I think nature filmmakers are evil for not yelling "Hey cute little innocent cub! Look out for that big ass eagle behind you!"

• Just saw a huge lizard with an eye patch, a hook, and possibly a criminal record. This is why I don't hike.
  

• Just realized I may have more framed pictures of pets than socially acceptable...

• According to a very confused rooster close by the sun has risen 76 times this morning. I have a feeling he's gonna miss tomorrow's sunrise.

• It was a mistake to put up that hummingbird feeder. Now they look at me like I'm their dealer. I'm afraid to go outside.
  

• I just said "excuse me" to a pigeon on a sidewalk...

• I wonder, in lieu of texting, if anyone ever sent drunk pigeon messages back in the day...

• There are two owls outside my house!!! I asked them if they had ever been to Hogwarts... now there are two ANNOYED owls outside my house!

• Dear owls mating outside my window, I appreciate being an aphrodisiac for you, but unless you have a letter from Hogwarts, please fly away.

• Remember those owls? They're definitely celebrating Valentine's Day. I don't know whether to call animal control or play Marvin Gaye.

• I'm so glad to have finally reached the Chihuahua demographic!!! @baytht: @chriscolfer Check out your doggy fan!! http://t.co/hvUMQ5Ci

• My friend Catherine has informed me she can trade me for 500 goats when I visit her in Egypt! It's the nicest thing she's ever said to me!

• I know it's a serious issue but the headline "Obese Pets Are A Growing Problem" on http://t.co/IFXhOUTz makes me chuckle.

• Anyone else watch the hybrid animals on ABC News last night?! Camas, and Zorses, and Ligers oh my!

• I randomly saw three ladybugs at the beach today. Some kind of Mother's Day omen??? Happy Mother's Day!!!

• Did anyone else have Sea Monkeys when they were younger? Did yours evaporate? Mine did. Left them by the window.

• I got a Betta Fish and named it Lady Gaga. I don't think it likes its name. I've never seen a fish roll its eyes before.

• @MWennekes I have three goldfish! Their names are Eddie, Patsy, and Saffy.

• My goldfish have love handles. I may be over feeding them...

• My spirit animal is definitely a goldfish. One of those over grown ones in a home made koi pond. What's yours?

• It's so rainy outside my fish may run away.

• I'll be on Letterman tonight talking about cow-tipping and Spider-Man! (A.k.a. my adolescence)

• I really want to get a dog to obnoxiously take everywhere I go. I'm thinking a Great Dane named Hans Christian Anderson.

• I'm loving the gloomy weather we're having in LA, but not the crow on my balcony telling the whole street about his day. We don't care!

• @heyitsglee_: Did you have any pet when you were in Clovis?
  
  Chris Colfer: Still do! Three dogs and a cat!

• @LizzyLizered24: what would you name your pet llama?
  
  Chris Colfer: Marie Antoinette or Voltaire. I would have to get a "history herd."

• @ColferFan: how many animals do you have on your house????
  
  Chris Colfer: Seven! Five fish, a cat, and a spider I've grown fond of in my front yard. Not including the owls...

• @giftttothecity: thoughts on centipedes?
  
  Chris Colfer: Can you imagine the amount of shoes?

• Just heard on the news someone got drunk at Sea World and tried stealing a penguin... that's funny, I don't remember being at Sea World.

• I'm shocked. Green Mile shocked. It's such an honor to just have a SAG card. So excited for our amazing cast! Greatest "flatterment" ever.

• Headed to the SAG awards!!! Let's take bets on who I'll embarrass myself in front of this time!

• So happy to bring a SAG ACTOR AWARD home! First time I haven't left a party alone!

• I was so excited by the Oscar nominations yesterday! Although I do think the "Ooooo!" Cat from Puss in Boots was snubbed.

• Dear Disney on Broadway, I fully accept your offer to be Pinocchio...as soon as you ask.

• Does anyone have any crazy Disneyland facts? I'm starting to hallucinate and see hidden Mickeys everywhere.

• It doesn’t matter how old I get, I always act like an excited five year-old kid with severe ADD and a waddle at Disneyland.

• Every time I get injured I measure it's severity by asking myself "Would this stop me from going to Disneyland?"

• I'm feeling a Disneyland trip is a major priority for the immediate future.

• Great day at Disneyland! (Thanks SPF 85+) It's still one of my favorite places in the world! They have a GREAT Halloween fireworks show!

• Hanging with the family...

• I expect my co-stars to bring me back enough "William & Kate" merchandise to fill a small house. Please let them know ; )

• Last night I dreamed HRM Queen Elizabeth II and I went to a Killers concert and had an amazing time. Best. Dream. Ever! #PleaseHappen

• According to my latest conspiracy theory, I am 7th in line for the British throne. If you have any info to support this please contact me.

• Ashley Fink: @msleamichele @iharryshum The Tower was incredible! I think @chriscolfer should get a summer job as a tour guide there..
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink I was very proud of myself! But then again I am seventh in line, so it's my job to know all our history...

• @ColferCrew: I wonder what @chriscolfer would say if I told him that my Grandad used to guard the Crown Jewels! #TrueStory
  
  Chris Colfer: O_O

• @MorganFerrae: Name me a random historical fact that I'm sure to not give a tiny rat's ass about. Because I relish your most useless talent ; )
  
  Chris Colfer: Elizabeth I's coronation robes were hand-me-downs from her late sister's coronation. #UselessInfo

• I'd like to wish my dear friend Queen Elizabeth the happiest of jubilees. Hope we meet in real life someday! #Royalist

• Although I'm bitter about my ancestors leaving europe, disqualifying me for any throne succession, I'd like to wish you all a happy 4th! ; )

• Ashley Fink: love of my life! Thanks for the follow! P.s. You totally win the my favorite face of all time award. Just sayin' Bokay?!
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Hahaha! How could I not follow your velvet rage!? You and I are gonna be dangerous on twitter! xoxo

• KB‏ @ALittleBoss: @chriscolfer who is yr best friend?
  
  Chris Colfer: @ALittleBoss @Ashley_Fink
  
  Ashley Fink: @chriscolfer ditto nugget, and then some. : )

• That's the last time I ever let @Ashley_Fink convince me to go on a Haunted Hay Ride! I taught the 5 year-old next to me so many new words.

• @Ashley_Fink Have an AMAZING time!!! Bring me back a koala!!!

• @Ashley_Fink Remember that time I had to fly 16 hours to Australia to post bail for an attempted koala kidnapping?

• Happy Birthday to the amazing and wonderful @Ashley_Fink!!! I'm so glad I didn't have to post bail again his year! ; )

• Such an amazing night! Filled with "Full Circle Moments" as Oprah calls them. @Ashley_Fink is the machine to my Florence.

• Ashley Fink: It is really windy today yall!! The wind is making all kinds of noises!! I swear it just said, "Yoooou shooould have a piece of piiie..."
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Can I join that Wind Watchers program with you??
  

• Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink You cracked me up so hard last night I looked like a Humpty-Dumpty CSI victim! And @NayaRivera I LOVE Valerie!
  
  Ashley Fink: @chriscolfer Ha! Just know if you fall I will always be there to put you back together again, unlike those king's men. I heart you hard. ; )

• Ashley Fink: @chriscolfer "You smell homeless Brett, homeless".. Absolutely brill.. Totally throwing that into rotation in everyday conversation.
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Ha! I think it may be my favorite line I've said so far!

• Chris Colfer: Coming soon to CCC (The Chris Colfer Channel)... http://twitpic.com/3mvyld
  
  Ashley Fink: @chriscolfer FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: CCC http://yfrog.com/gzym3llj
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink And that's why I love you!

• Ashley Fink: Disco nap then pack.. Disco nap, dinner then pack.. Disco nap, dinner, paint nails then pack.. EEP! @chriscolfer COME OVER AND MAKE ME PACK!
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Make sure to pack extra intelligence, energy, motor skills, and concentration since I'm most likely gonna forget mine.

• Ashley Fink: So excited baby daddy is on Leno tonight!! Errybody tune in! P.s. this tweet actually IS about @chriscolfer Haha ; )
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink I believe Maury said I was NOT the father...just saying...
  
  Ashley_Fink:@chriscolfer Hey now!!! I believe the word he used was, "inconclusive " Jeeze.

• Ashley_Fink: Oh @chriscolfer If only OUT knew what an eligible bachelor does in his very limited spare time.. Watch Downton Abbey and look at lol cats.
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Hahahaha! So true...

• Ashley Fink: In case any of yall spent ALL day thinking it was Thursday like I did.. I've just been informed that it is in fact, Tuesday. #TheMoreYouKnow
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink Don't worry, this whole "daylight savings" thing is hard for people to understand... *side eye*

• Ashley Fink: I'm picking up my little sister from high school and I gotta say.. half of these kids look more grown than I do! What's is going on?!
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink I picked my sister up early from Elementary School once and was told to get back in class. I didn't argue.

• Chris Colfer: Downton Abbey marathon with friends! The police may get called...
  
  Ashley Fink: No Colfer, the police don't respond to bored complaints.
  
  Chris Colfer: @Ashley_Fink I do believe that is yo ass sitting next to me, Team Carlisle.

• Went to the taping of ‪#KATHY‬ last night! @Ashley_Fink and I haven't laughed that hard in ages! Such a great episode! Poor @andersoncooper...

• I think there is a special bond all people addicted to diet soda share.

• Beach today! No sunburn! Yessssss! Thanks SPF 575!

• I was at the beach over eight hours ago and I'm still finding sand on my body. Thank you Neutrogena for making SPF85! =)

• Sunscreen bath before the waterpark with the gleeks! Wish me luck! I'll come back a firetruck...

• Late night swim party with the gleeks. The sun wasn't out so I went swimming too! I'm probably moonburned though...

• Ireland may be the only place in the world where I have distant relatives! I know this because all the pools are indoors.

• @Luv4ChrisColfer: i saw a picture of you the other day and it looks to me that you can't call yourself Casper or the son of Wonder bread anymore.
  
  Chris Colfer: The sun and I have been in counseling, we're taking it one day at a time.

• I'll be on Leno tonight! I'm running out of talk show stories! Maybe I'll finally talk about my prison time in the Philippines...

• I always know who the bad guy is on Law & Order within five minutes. I would so be a detective if it weren't for my criminal record.

• On my way to the Fox Casino Party! Not leaving until I have a gambling addiction.

• Not gonna lie, I totally cheated at casino night and won a stuffed Homer Simpson! Yay Fox! http://mypict.me/DSWQ

• I got in trouble by a studio guard for riding my scooter on the lot today. He must be moonlighting for a bike company.

• I don't recommend j-walking when you see a police officer issuing you a parking ticket across the street. Strongly recommend.

• I didn't get any tickets but was asked if I was old enough to drive. *sigh* I wish I just got a friggin' ticket.

• I could never be a traffic officer. Whistle or no whistle, that's way too much power to abuse.

• I just moved a reserved cone and assigned a parking spot to myself. Total #badass.

• Next time I'm bringing chalk and making my own parking spot.

• I've seriously considered entering this underground sword-fighting club, to gain some street cred. Book clubs are nice too.

• I'm so excited to go to the White House! And this time I'm invited, so security won't be chasing me!

• Slow drivers make me wish my car was equipped with one of those War of the Worlds laser beams. That'll teach 'em
  

• @msleamichele Go to Versailles!!! See Marie Antoinette's village! Don't take anything, I learned the hard way...

• Last night was the first midnight showing of Harry Potter I've ever missed. I'm still secretly waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter.

• Just got back from a private screening of Harry Potter...meaning I was the only one in the theater.

• Finally saw the final Harry Potter. Cried so hard. I'll never forget staying up all night on my eleventh birthday waiting for my letter.

• @ChrisMColfer After much consideration I've come to the conclusion that I would be in Ravenclaw.

• I'm gonna be needing a trip to this Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park stat!

• Anyone else signed up for PotterMore?

• Midnight showing of Harry Potter down!!!

• It's true! We'll be meeting two of the most powerful people in the world in the same week! Yes, Oprah and Gayle! And also the President...

• I can't believe I'm going to meet Oprah tomorrow! So excited! So lucky! If you see little bumps on my arms it'll be from pinching myself.

• I'm laughing so hard at Oprah and Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure!!! They drove through my home town! #ILoveOprah

• Today I passed a man with a "The End is Near" sign. With Oprah, Larry King, and the Harry Potter movies all ending, I think he's right.

• If no one hears from me for the next hour, don't worry I'm alive and safe, it's just that Oprah's Favorite Things is on.

• Such an amazing night! Filled with "Full Circle Moments" as Oprah calls them. @Ashley_Fink is the machine to my Florence.

• MrMaxAdler and I are brainstorming "Oprah: The Musical" in between scenes. It's a mix between Evita and the Lion King.

• My mom JUST told me that my first word was OPRAH!!! "I thought I had told you that, Christopher." No! She did not! #FullCircle

• Thank God for Oprah's Lifeclass! I wouldn't know what to do with myself without it...

• Chicago! Oprah town! : )

• @chordoverstreet Welcome!!!
  
  @chordoverstreet That "welcome" was in regards to joining the Oprah army. I've recently become an officer myself.

• I think Lucasfilm get most of their sound effects from when my grandparents take their naps.

• Elle ‏ @_endor: it's not crazy, but...favorite star wars movie? don't leave me hanging, chris, I need to know!!
  Chris Colfer: @_endor Empire Strikes back! But will always love A New Hope...

• The outfit I'm wearing today at Glee can only be described as Princess Leia pre-Ewok introduction in Return of the Jedi. #EwokChic

• I've been traveling around New York with Chewbacca. He's more than just a friend, he's a backpack. http://yfrog.com/h2nftgdj

• I made up a new word in an interview yesterday. Flatterment; n. A compliment that leaves one flattered. #FuturePolitician

• Conflicticatin' (conflict-eh-cate-in) v., to discuss/argue over a conflict. "Sorry if our conflicticatin' upset you." #LearningFromStrangers

• If you're reading this & it's in English, thank a teacher & a Veteran. If you think a Veteran takes care of pets, don’t thank that teacher.

• I usually don't mind when I'm misquoted, but when I'm misquoted with improper english, that's upsetting! @msleamichele ; )

• Anyone else ever get a fortune cookie with a typo?

• There is not a word strong enough to describe being randomly searched at the airport with 25 paparazzi dudes behind you...

• I would embarrass mankind if I was ever in a spelling bee. It's an accomplishment just to pronounce certain words. Stromuhr anyone?

• For whatever reason, my brain is programmed to spell 'sweet' as 'sweat'. I've probably sent some interesting thank you cards...

• I'm not sure what I just pocket-retweeted either. Apparently I'm wearing bilingual long johns.
  

• If you were just pocket-dialed by someone driving and loudly singing along to a Next to Normal soundtrack…I apologize.
  

• You don't put your phone on standby once and suddenly you're pocket-tweeting @Joan_Rivers all day. What is this crazy world we live in?!?!

• Kevin Mchale @druidDUDE: @chriscolfer u tweeted? ok that was supposed to sound like "you rang?" when u miss someones call. ok, im done now! miss u chrilllltthh!!!
  
  Chris Colfer: @druidDUDE Oops! Sorry, I pocket-tweeted you! Liked the shooting btw! Hehe!

• My life is an awkward visit from the kid's table while awaiting a History Channel special.

• Isn't it so awkward when you say goodbye to someone like seven times? #GroceryStoreEncounters

• That awkward moment when your parents go out more than you do...

• If @AshleyRickards2 is Awkward, I never want to be normal. Welcome to twitter, girl!

• It was hard acting elegant tonight at an Oscar party knowing earlier I slipped in the rain like a cartoon character.

• It's so embarrassing when you're in the car with friends and think you know the lyrics to the song on the radio...

• Has anyone else ever started humming/singing in an elevator and then realized you aren't alone? #momentsthatsuck

• I just had one of those moments when you think someone is waving at you...guess you never grow out of those.

• I hate when you tell someone a joke and they don't get it, so you explain and they still don't get it. It just becomes an awkward situation.

• @hugegleeaddict: @chriscolfer I read somewhere that your hips are insured for $10,000. 1) Is that true? & 2) your hips are worth WAY more than that!! #WOW!
  
  Chris Colfer: @hugegleeaddict 10k each actually...this is awkward...

• That awkward moment when an Amish man tells you they're a big fan. #Score!

• Chris Colfer: Just toured the Modern Family set! Waaah! @jessetyler @ericstonestreet I was in your house! I didn't steal anything...much...
  
  Jesse Tyler Ferguson: ‏@chriscolfer The Mitchell and Cam portrait just won't work over YOUR fireplace.
  
  Chris Colfer: @jessetyler It actually blends in very nicely next to my Edina & Patsy and Xena & Gabrielle portraits.
  
  Eric Stonestreet: ‏@chriscolfer I just hope nature didn't call u into our FAKE bathroom. see u this weekend and all my best. well...MOST of my best : )
  
  Chris Colfer: @ericstonestreet Hahahaha! No worries, I just took and didn't leave anything! See you soon!
  

• Jesse Tyler Ferguson: @chriscolfer so good to fellowship with you my friend. And I totally slipped in the rain too. My fall was very elegant though!
  
  Chris Colfer: @jessetyler I knew gravity was a Modern Family fan! Have fun in Hawaii!

• Jesse Tyler Ferguson: ‏@chriscolfer I just watched last nights Glee! You killed me! Such great work kiddo!
  
  Chris Colfer: @jessetyler thanks Jesse! The feeling is always mutual!

• Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Of course my alliance is with my TV lover but I am tickled pink about @chriscolfer and his Golden Globe nomination today!
  
  Chris Colfer: @jessetyler You are so sweet and I'm also siding with you guys!

• Sarah Hyland: Fact: @chriscolfer is a cracker... http://lockerz.com/s/126156164
  
  Chris Colfer: @Sarah_Hyland I'm a cracker. You're a nugget. We're both habit forming.

• I can't wait for a new episode of D-List tonight! Did you see last week when Kathy and Maggie judged the toddler pageant? OMG, so funny!

• My two favorite new shows are The Good Wife and The Vampire Diaries. What do you guys watch?

• Watching last night's episode of Damages! I love this show! Is Glenn Close a national treasure yet?

• After watching The West Wing I'm convinced all White House staff members should wear tennis shoes.

• Watching Desperate Housewives! Love that they just mentioned Avenue Q!

• Watching Nip/Tuck! So excited!

• I can't wait to get home and watch Nip/Tuck! Every year it comes on I think to myself maybe this will be the year I get some work done...

• I just referred to the X-Files duo as Scolder and Mully. Thought you guys would like that.

• I wish my neighbors and I were like the characters on Melrose Place, but then again I might be the one stabbed and floating in the pool...

• @MsAmberRiley Nurse Jackie reminds me of myself. I'd totally pop a rude biker's tire.

• Nurse Jackie = brilliance!

• Is anyone else as excited as I am for Nurse Jackie and United States of Tara tonight???

• Nurse Jackie is my favorite show! Brilliant characters! It makes me laugh so hard police come to my door thinking an animal is being abused.

• Just watched the season finale of Nurse Jackie! Has Edie Falco been sainted yet? My crushes on Eve Best and Merritt Wever grow everyday.

• I was the first person at Target this morning. Apparently I COULD NOT live another day without The United States of Tara on DVD

• Lately I've been obsessed with the shows Raising Hope on Fox and Beast Legends on SyFy! Does anyone else watch?
  

• The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion makes Avatar look like a high school production of Paint Your Wagon.

• I really need to stop watching reality TV. I'm starting to give daily commentary/confessionals to random household objects.

• America's Funniest Home Videos should be called America's Cruelest Parenting! Please untie your child!

• Did anyone else catch FaceOff on SyFy? Such an awesome show! Amazing creativity! Gotta watch it if you're into SFX!

• Did you hear Jeopardy is going to have a computer as a contestant? Let's be honest, they've just used up all the smart people.

• My new favourite show is Downton Abbey! I've been watching so many episodes I'm surprised it's not in the 21st century yet.

• @RedVetro I LOVE Xena! Own the whole series!

• What can a 19 year-old do in NYC on Halloween? Looking for legal things...

• Oh no, there's a Halloween store walking distance from my place. This is gonna be dangerous...

• I got a head start and bought my Halloween candy a month early. I now realize what a catastrophic mistake this was...
  

• If any of you are going as Glee characters for Halloween please tweet us pictures! We eat that stuff up!
  

• This Halloween more men are going as Sue Sylvester than Iron Man!

• I failed to get a car-seat for my pumpkin. Now it looks like it just got out of rehab AND a bar fight.

• Happy Halloween!!! This year I went as Los Angeles! http://twitpic.com/32t660

• Max Ehrich: Trying to figure out my costume for Halloween. @chriscolfer, let the match begin!
  
  Chris Colfer: @maxehrich I should warn you I have hot glue guns, chicken wire, styrofoam, and glitter... It won't be a fair fight.
  
  Max Ehrich: Natalie Portman/Mila Kuni Aura, pointe shoes, too-too, black shadow, and post-teenage angst.
  
  Chris Colfer: @maxehrich Bring it, Newsie! Your swan is all squawk and no waddle!
  
  Max Ehrich: Black swan is ready to rumble.
  
  Ashley Fink: @maxehrich @chriscolfer's not kidding. You've stepped into the lion's den of crafting. You. Best. Bring. It.

• Max Ehrich: @chriscolfer ps. I changed my Halloween costume.
  
  Chris Colfer: @maxehrich I eagerly and competitively await...

• The reviews are in! People have said my Sea-Monkey costume was a "vision in silver and white" and "An Elton and Gaga love child!" : )
  

• We covered a lot of Halloween ground last night...I left my tail in someone's cupboard...let me know if you find it
  : )

• I'm convinced if aliens invaded the earth and saw Halloween in WeHo they would turn around and go home. lockerz.com/s/152456272

I hope everyone is drinking responsibly! Pass out on a friend's couch if you must! You'll be "that guy" but it's better than "dead guy."

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) March 18, 2012

• Say no to drugs kids! I've been drug free my whole life and I'm PERFECTLY NORMAL!!!!! #glee

• @IDreamGlee: I want to be a movie writer. Any tips?
  
  Chris Colfer: "Don't try. Become." - Something?

Thanks for the Trend Gleeks!!! Most people look at me so strangely when I tell them I'm a TT...

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) March 14, 2012

@DarrenCriss I fo' sho' thought "RIP Pavarotti" would be trending before "They Kissed". Tisk tisk. He is rolling in his bedazzled grave.

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) March 16, 2011

• Twitter should have glitches more often! I love seeing random strangers pop up on my timeline! It's like speed dating!

• There has been a twitter glitch, also known as a twitch.

• Think twice, tweet once. #bestadvice

• If "Twitter" is the collaboration of high pitched noises I guess I'm in the right place.

• If someone tweets something that isn't true, is that Bulltwit?

• Jenna Ushkowitz ‏ @JennaUshkowitz
  Someone told me that its mine and @chriscolfer 's two year twitter anniversary. Hooray! I want a Cake!

• Chris Colfer ‏ @chriscolfer
  @IJennaUsh When is retwitterment?

• Eeek! I haven't tweeted in eons! How have your summers been?

• My Twitter account has been verified!!! This must be what Pinocchio felt like when he became a real boy!

• Finding out celebrities follow you on Twitter is like finding out Elvis is your real father. Super hip-shaking surreal.

• Tweet off! Did I win?

• Why do I tweet? Well now I have 15,000+ reasons to! Thanks guys! =)

• So does Twitter make you a Twot? or a Twit?

This is dedicated to @damianmcginty because he laughed the hardest... twitpic.com/8gxp1h

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) February 7, 2012

The voices in my head have started a garage band.

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) January 6, 2012

It's so windy I took my umbrella to work today. #AdorableMaryPoppinsReference

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) December 1, 2011

I just witnessed an old woman wearing joker make-up and jamming hard to music as she drove her convertible. Yes, I just saw my future.

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) November 13, 2011

Now Kurtsies, please be nice to each other! Fighting is only fun when mud is involved.

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) October 30, 2011

I'm just adding tricks to my resume for when the inevitable day comes that I join the circus. lockerz.com/s/140775064

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) September 21, 2011

You know that sound effect in Family Guy when a character passes out and hits the floor? Haha! I need more of that in my life!

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) July 10, 2011

Ohio is beautiful!!! So many trees to climb!

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) June 14, 2011

I just waved at a sink for a good five minutes thinking it had motion sensors. It didn't. I'd never last in a third world country.

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) May 15, 2011

Sometimes you just have to hide... http://yfrog.com/h4d6yjgj

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) May 12, 2011

• I could never go to one of those fright-night theme park things. I would come back with major Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

• I have less than a month left of being a teenager. That means a month left for that rebellion period I've been postponing...

• This nerd can't wait for Comic-Con! Have I ever mentioned how odd it is meeting someone you used to have an action figure of?

• The smiley happy me annoys the crap out of the sarcastic and jaded me. Does that make me a true Gemini, or a Diablo Cody project?

• Just recorded at the Jim Henson studios! The former hang out of Charlie Chaplin and Winston Churchill! I love hollywood history.

• I'm textually active. Don't tell anyone.

• I'm a method actor and demanded there be real garbage in the dumpster.

• @LittleMsLonely I love hot air ballooning! One time we crashed on private property and didn't have enough fuel to leave. #AwkwardTurtle

• Happy Gullible Awareness Day!!!

• Happy Oscar Day!!! Myself and a few of my castmates will be going home in some lucky people's gifts bags.

• Happy Oscar Day!!! My favorite holiday!

• Finally a holiday worth celebrating!!! RT @TheEllenShow: It's National Sea Monkey Day!

I saw Wicked for the seventieth time today in LA. I still bounce in my seat and point at Glinda's bubble when she flies down. #Gangsta

— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) January 15, 2012

• Backstage tour of Wicked. My life is now complete.

• Happy Wicked Day!

• @geekofdrama247 My favorite Bway musical is Wicked. It was the first one I ever saw and will always be special to me.