CloveGlee Glee Episode Recaps

Because you are my friends, and I value this community, I am going to post the recap here. I am ready to strangle Bowtie Blaine.

Please do this for me: Please visit the blog and make a comment. G+ it.
Could one person who is not me provide some links to it at other Glee sites?

Glee Recap: "Big Brother"
Glee Recap: Big Brother

It's been seven weeks since my last Glee recap! We're back, baybees! Seven weeks of reruns, seven weeks of anxious worry about Quinn, seven weeks of waiting for the singing, dancing fools who have won our hearts to return. So what do we return to? A heaping helping of Blaine's Big Brother. And Blaine. And more Blaine.

Boy oh boy oh boy. That was a lot of Blaine. Seven weeks in hiatus, and we finally get back, and we are treated to a new and improved Glee in which Blaine not only has the A is for Angst storyline, but ALL of the singing. Well, maybe not all of it. I guess Quinn got a line or two. But still - that was a whole lotta Blaine. Obviously they are revving up engines for Season Four, when they will be offering up All Blaine, All the Time, because all the other interesting characters will have graduated.

It's a shame Darren Criss can't act.

Well, first things first. Let's resolve all those niggling little cliffhangers that have had us all on the edge of our seats for two months. Did Finchel get married? Did Quinn die? The answer to both of these questions, answered almost as a throwaway in the first minute of the show, is no. Rachel and Finn walk down the hall, and Rachel wonders aloud if they would have gone through with the wedding if Quinn had not gotten into an accident. Finn says yes. Gee whiz, Quinn. We know you did not approve of the wedding, but wasn't that a rather extreme way of stopping it? Hey, Quinn fans out there... are you really pissed off that she got sacrificed to stop these two nimrods from getting hitched? Make a comment!

Finn is even kind of glad they are waiting. This way, they can have a nice ceremony and not a rushed one. Maybe, instead of getting married to celebrate their Regionals win at home, they can get married to celebrate their Nationals win in Chicago.... Or not! Or not! Rachel! Stop crying! As it turns out, Rachel is actually thinking about something other than herself. She's upset about Quinn... she can't stop thinking about her... the Faberry fans are already going bonkers... and then, she's wheeling their direction.

Yep. Wheeling. She looks like a million bucks. There's not one seeping bruise, not one nasty, jagged scar to mark the trauma of her texting adventure, but... she's in a wheelchair, and now she and Artie can go twinsies. Oh, look. He's here to give her moral support, or at least to be the other bookend. And really, being in a wheelchair has done wonders for her disposition. She's positively mature and brave, grateful to God that she is still alive. This is her very first day back at school since the accident, she looks like she did during Wheels back in Season One, and she's gonna deal with her first weeks of paraplegia by racing Artie to the choir room as they sing... I'm Still Standing, which is very inspirational, if technically inaccurate. Two Cheerios look very sad and shocked as they pass Quinn, but she is not phased, because she's got a groovy new dance partner and a brand new way to make a move as she and Artie do a very impressive wheelchair dance routine for the amusement of all the kids in the class who can still walk. Being unable to walk has never looked like this much fun. Let's get everybody a wheelchair! Oh, wait. They did that episode already. Quinn ends the energetic, upbeat, positive song with the Glee PSA for the week. Remember kids: Never Text and Drive!

Fun romantic note: Sugar and Rory are still an item.

Quinn brings the choir and the audience up to speed: all of her plumbing works, which is good. I would hate it if she had sprung a leak. However, her backbone got compressed, so she can't move her legs, but she is getting some feeling back, so she figures, with a lot of physical therapy, she should make a full recovery. For whatever reason, this girl is always in dire need of some kind of therapy. Tina cries a little, since she's capable of little else. Quinn boldly promises that she will be out of the chair by Nationals, and all the others applaud... except Artie. He's either not so sure she's going to be that lucky, or he's allergic to the idea that somebody else might recover from the same injury that crippled him.

Sue sits in a bewildered daze in Figgins' office, unable to process what she has just been told. Figgins, in his infinite inability to avoid starting really contrived and artificial feuds between his staff members,has decided to let Roz Washington be co-coach of the Cheerios because Sue was a few minutes late for a practice one day. As Sue objects, Roz delivers a torrent of nasty age insults and their fearless leader explains that the school will get money for a National trophy of some kind; Sue can't deliver if she's knocked up. Roz hurls some more insults about the baby being born full grown and ready to become... gasp!... a lawyer. Then she orders Sue to find a new dream.

Sue contemplates shoving that bronze medal down Roz's throat, but restrains herself. Mustn't upset the baby. New tactic: she offers to guarantee Figgins a National Championship: the Glee Club. The National Champion Show Choir gets a ten thousand dollar prize. Yes, if Will and the Glee Club kids finally realize their dream, the doofus who has been throwing banana peels in their path for three years gets money. Life just ain't fair. And here's an even crueler twist: if the Glee Club finally wins Nationals, it will be because Sue took charge of their training. They won't win because of Will; this is Sue's final, complete victory over him. Game, set and match.

And indeed, Sue is immediately in Booty Camp with them. Will seems much less upset about being supplanted in his group than Sue was in hers. The Glee Club is suddenly once again a scattered, unfocused group of losers who have suddenly lost the ability to dance in sync. It's like they've gone back to Season One. Worse yet, Mercedes has not learned the Important Lesson of the Week. Remember, Kids: Never Text and Rehearse! Not even to donate to Obama! Sue sends Mercedes' phone flying into the bleachers as Finn blunders in. He has not gotten the Very Important Message either. Remember, Kids. Never Text and Walk to Rehearsal! He's blathering about Senior Skip day as Sue gets in his face... She's taking over booty camp! And take it over she does, bellowing insults like Louis Gosset Jr. in an Officer and a Gentleman. (I'm waiting for Rory to scream "I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!")

Will gets wind of the drill sergeant routine and charges in to do battle in the teacher's lounge. The kids are all complaining; even Kurt, who is used to being bullied. Kurt was a Cheerio during their championship season, and is occasionally is close to Sue when the script finds it necessary, but he has written a desperate message to Will because Sue is meaner than Tabatha. (Here's a link for anybody else, like me, who was completely baffled by that comment.) Sue believes the Glee Club's back to back wins must have been flukes; I think they are operating under the assumption that it's against the rules to rehearse for Nationals until five minutes before they go onstage. At any rate, Sue attributes all her erratic behavior to pregnancy mood swings. She has to go to the doctor. Emma declares that she must have a friend along for moral support, and says that she and Will will go with her. Emma and Will are now Sue's friends. Boy, this show is inconsistent and confusing.

Blaine and Kurt are walking down the halls, discussing Blaine's brother. Yes, Blaine has a brother. Somehow, we've managed to get through a year and a half with Blaine before anybody mentioned this little tidbit. This is the fruit of the Develop Blaine as a Character movement currently underway in a Darren Criss fan thread near you. Kurt is intrigued, because he's never gotten to meet this mysterious brother and he's dying to know what he looks like. Apparently, Kurt already does know what the brother looks like, because... as Cooper Anderson (not to be confused with Anderson Cooper) comes down the hall, Kurt screams with fangirly delight. That's the guy from the Free Credit Rating Today.com commercial!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gee, you would have thought he'd just met Flo and her Progressive price gun, although maybe she'll appear to watch the NYADA auditions and sell everybody insurance. DISCOUNT!

Kurt LOVES the Free Credit Rating Today commercials. The jingle is his ringtone. So much for the culturally sophisticated Broadway Musical buff. Sue butts in for just a moment so that Cooper might have the intense privilege of signing one of her breasts - which she exposes just below camera level in the middle of the school hallway - and Cooper signs it merrily with the air of one who has signed every body part known to man, woman, and psycho coach from hell. Kurt hyperventilates as he declares Cooper the most good looking man in North America, and I think it's amusing that it's Blaine's turn to be jealous. The Best Looking Man in North America has returned to the heartland to rediscover his roots and prepare for the deep, gritty, character stuff he's going to be doing in his next set of singing, dancing commercials about free credit ratings. Well, maybe the Mob is after him because he's in debt, and he has to get a Free Credit Rating quickly to appease the Godfather? Sue siphons him off again so that he can sign the other breast, her butt, and a pre-nuptial agreement, and Blaine says, "Yeah, that's why I don't talk about my brother." Why? Because he's even better at stealing everybody's attention than Blaine is! Blaine's going to need therapy to deal with the same stuff that happens to Kurt every moment he spends around Blaine!

We finally get confirmation that Puck is older than everybody else; as the seniors meet in the library to discuss their plans for Senior Ditch Day, Puck reveals that he's been waiting five years for this. Of course, he does not mention the five year hiatus he took between Jr. High and High School, because the dude is thirty, and I've been saying that repeatedly. I notice that Junior Tina is in on the discussion of Senior Ditch Day; maybe she's now surgically attached to Mike. All these young kids begin to float some ideas for ditch day that are too staid and lame for even my middle-aged ass, and then Rachel suddenly remembers that Quinn is in a wheelchair and it's All Her Fault. Tears. Quinn, with a gentle air of calm, kind authority that indicates she got a personality transplant at the same time she compressed her spine, consoles Rachel. Then she suggests they all go to Six Flags! That's the best place in the world for people with severe spinal cord injuries! The decision is made, but Puck draws Finn aside for a moment, because he's got a business proposition for him.

The way Puck sees the future is this. He's like Abraham Lincoln and the Facebook guy. High School Zero, Big Idea hero. But Puck's got a vision. Lima's got 22 pools for him to clean. That's only 22 cuckolded husbands to piss off; they might compare notes and figure out the identity of the little punk who has been boffing their wives. California, however, has 800 fricken thousand pools. That's a lot of pools to clean, a a lot of cougars to defile! Puck wants to move to LA and expand his pool cleaning business, and he wants Finn to be the brains of his operation! Finn is so flattered at the idea of being the brains of something, he doesn't know quite what to say. Still, he's supposed to go to New York City and hold Rachel's purse for her... Puck says, well... what if you don't go... and when he sees that Finn is set on Rachel's New York Dream, he changes tactics. Would the Brains of the Operation help him figure out what has gone wrong with this one hot ladies' jacuzzi? Sure, Finn can help. With his prodigious brain power, it should be easy as pie, and no more complicated.

Glee Coach Sylvester has a message (written on the whiteboard) for all those Lazy Idiots out there. Because Will, the one who so carefully encouraged all their lazy and idiotic behavior for all these years, thinks that Sue is too harsh, she has brought in a very, very special treat. A treat they don't deserve. She has asked a special guest speaker, a close, close personal friend of hers, to offer the ungrateful peasants of New Directions a few words of advice. Who is this special guest speaker? Well, of course, it is the great, the astounding... Cooper Anderson, Porcelain's famous brother. ("My famous brother", whines Blaine in the very first instance of him being jealous of Kurt in recorded memory.) As the great megawatt local superstar takes his rightful place in center stage, he lands a big wet one on Sue, making me question either his judgment, his taste, or his eyesight - but not his sexual preference, because his actor, Matt Bomer, is gay. On Glee, the only gay actor who can play a gay character is Chris Colfer, and I bet they regret even that decision as his popularity explodes. Cooper faces the class and offers his master class so that they too may someday be as fabulous as he is. I have so far noticed that Anderson Cooper has a much better actor than Blaine Cooper does, and I wonder if we can get him to stay. Anderson tells the losers of McKinley High that he was once a loser like them, but his dreams came true and he's now the star of a cheesy commercial. This means he is fully qualified to offer a master class on acting so that everybody else can become as successful as he is. Everybody applauds wildly except for Blaine.

Rachel begs the wonderful Anderson Brothers to grant all us lowly audience members a wondrous, fabulous duet, and Anderson reveals that the bros used to sing Duran Duran a lot back when it was cool to do that. That may have been... never. With a little effort, Blaine is coaxed onto the stage, into Cooper's shadow, so that we can have an absolutely pointless duet that exists for the sole purpose of selling itunes. Given that these boys will be singing a second, more important duet later, and Blaine also has a solo, it's really, really serious overkill that sacrifices the entire rest of the cast at the altar of Darren Criss. I have completely, utterly had it, and I don't really care who knows it. I am not the only one.The resistance in the forums is growing by the day, and there's getting to be some real anger behind it. The number one critique I saw on this episode from everywhere was that there was too much Blaine. Glee is becoming absolutely unbearable for anybody who does not worship the ground Darren Criss walks on. It's actually turning into a problem, and that's too bad, because he's cute and fun when he's not grossly overused. This is excessive, and it's way, way too much for a character that doesn't really offer a lot narratively. He never will. Darren is not a good enough actor to lead the show. At any rate, the Anderson brothers dance and dork through a mash-up of Rio and Hungry Like the Wolf that doesn't really make any sense. Santana's facial expression says it best here:



At Breadstix, Cooper flimflams the flummoxed waitress with a phony accent and puffs some nonsense about Stanislavkski that makes Blaine turn green. Of course, everything Cooper says makes Blaine turn green; apparently, Big Brother can't get three sentences out of his mouth without criticizing something. He was putting down Blaine's slick dance moves when they were both still in elementary school. Cooper does not remember this incident, but he wants to be closer to Blaine - doesn't everybody? - and invites him to come to the Master Class.

Back at the school, we have yet another opportunity for a strong man on Glee to provide instruction and inspiration to a woman who hasn't quite got a handle on things. Quinn is facing a particularly steep wheelchair ramp. She is willing to go around the school and find a gentler ramp, but Artie pushes her... He believes in her...

"But I'm not strong like you, you big macho man in a wheelchair!"

"Yes, you are, you woman in need of instruction!"

And to prove that Quinn needs his instruction, Artie begins to yell, "Push, push!" because going up a wheelchair ramp is almost exactly like having a baby. This is something Quinn has done and Artie has not, and this is why she needs him to instruct her. Or maybe Artie used the baby analogy because he knows it's something Quinn has done successfully.

In the hallway, they are laughing and talking until Artie delivers some more bad news. Six Flags is kind of a drag for folks in wheelchairs. Quinn is hesitant... it's her only Senior Ditch Day. Artie, who is a Junior, agrees, and offers to show her the best Senior Ditch Day ever in a place that is not Six Flags. I guess he gets to have two Senior Ditch Days.

And now... the best scene of the episode. This was hysterically funny. Ladies and gentlemen, the awesome talent of renowned commercial actor Cooper Anderson. He is a graduate of the Joey Tribbiani School for the Dramatic Smell the Farts Acting, and he is offering a rare Master Class on Cheesy Theatrics and Pretentious Nonsense. Please, pay attention and take careful notes.

The most important points:

1. Don't go to college. (Quinn is now his enemy.)
2. Don't go to New York. (Rachel is now his enemy.)
3. Real Actors go to Hollywood.
4. Turn into a pose for a headshot. Try to look contrived and fake while you do it. It shows effort. That's how you get your first callback.
5. Ask the director the tough questions: is it comedic or dramatic? You can't always tell by reading the script. In fact, why bother reading at all?

Blaine asks Kurt why he's bothering to take notes on this garbage.

6. The key to dramatic acting is pointing.

Blaine says aloud that this is nonsense.

7. Shut up, Blaine. Since when did you become a better evaluator of theatrical advice than Rachel?

A great bonus for his brother's class: The secret to great acting is to ignore what the other actor is doing. The other person is a distraction. Wear earplugs. Focus on the awesome acting choices you've planned in a self-centered vacuum, like... "SCREAMING ALL MY LINES!!!!!" for no good reason, except that "I AM AN INTENSE ACTOR!" Hey, it worked for Nicolas Cage, and he has an Oscar. For an extra special treat, Cooper has brought them sides from NCIS. They will be acting out a scene.

Agent Sciuto (Rachel) has just discovered a dead body - a huge scene for Tina. Cooper carefully instructs her to point a lot and not look at her scene partner, Blaine. He wants Blaine to point, too. It's very important.

Blaine does not want to point. His desire not to point has a point. Cooper wants him to point, and they argue bitterly over to point or not to point until Blaine howls "I'm your BROTHER! Can't you just SUPPORT me? " as if they were arguing over something that was even remotely painful or important. They are arguing about whether or not to point in a skit. Cooper blows him off because he's not pointing his finger as he says that, and Blaine is just, just devastated. Oh, the HUMANITY of it all! This was an argument over absolutely nothing. Is anything less trivial happening someplace else?

Puck and Finn are having a much more convincing disagreement over things that matter a little at the pool. The sexy cougar who is their client would like to be a silent partner (or a noisy one) in their business venture. Finn insists that he's not going into business with Puck. He has to go to New York and hold Rachel's purse. Puck suggests that possibly Finn might want to consider his own dreams and future, rather than merely Rachel's. It's a good, very legitimate point. Of course, one can also argue that Puck is offering Finn a chance to share in his dreams and plans, just as Rachel is. Finn still has no dream of his own.

In the doctor's office, Sue is ranting over every reason in the book why she does not want to have a boy, and she wonders why men even have nipples. I guess... so that a sex change operation is always an option? They get called back, and when a nurse wonders aloud if Will is the father - "God no!" says the woman who asked him to donate sperm - Sue finds herself awkwardly referring to Emma and Will as her friends. Seeing that Sue is in such warm and supportive company, the nurse is quite comfortable telling Sue that the child is a girl, and... hesitant to say... that the amnio came back with... irregularities. That may very well mean Down's Syndrome. Well, Sue's certainly dealt with that before.

Cooper is posing for a doomed photo op with Rory. The Leprechaun is star-struck... Brittney has left the cap on the camera. We learn that he's done the nasty with Flo the Progressive Lady, so she DID make this recap! Then Cooper greets his little brother, who is seething with resentment over pointing, and announces that he's got an audition with the guy who is directing the latest Transformer film. Cooper does not understand why Blaine is not happy for him, and then we learn that Kurt is not responsible for Blaine's terrible outfit choices, and then Cooper doesn't understand why Blaine does not want to spend all of Ditch Day helping Cooper run lines. Blaine goes into a full-scale, ridiculous musical temper tantrum.

Blaine is going to sing a really angsty song about a contrived and minor problem. Blaine is a FIGHTER, ya'll! He's a FIGHTER because his brother steals focus from him almost as much as he does from Kurt, and from every other member of the original Glee Club. When you consider the degree to which every other member of the cast, especially Chris, has been forced to be silent so that Darren can have a really excessive number of solos, this whole thing is extremely ironic. In a moment of blatant fan service, we get to see Blaine take a shower while proclaiming that he is a fighter. Um, this is the guy who got hospitalized by a slushie. I am not impressed by the posturing. Maybe they could rename the song "Whiner."

Now, let's go back to people who have some actual problems.

Finn is a slow learner. We know that. We've known that for almost three years. Despite what happened to Mercedes' phone, and the tongue-lashing he got from Sue, Finn still has not gotten the message. Never Text and Do Anything Else in Any Way! Well, doofus Texts and Stumbles directly into Joe, which is even worse because Joe's barefoot in school and Finn might accidentally crush his toes and teach him why there's a dress code. Finn is on the road to ruin, and Quinn is there to guide to the right way. Texting while Walking... that's the gateway text. You think it's no big deal, just a few quick bits of typing between classes.... but before you know it, you are hooked. Soon you will be Jogging While Texting, or even Riding the Elevator While Texting. Then you end up like Quinn. For the love of God, Finn, put the phone down! Texting during class, of course, is perfectly fine.

Now that this PSA is concluded, it's time for Artie to show up and explain to the audience that he and Quinn have decided on a special Senior Ditch Day, just the two of them, even though Artie is a Junior. Rollercoasters are out for the kewl wheelchair kids. They are going to go to a secret place and have the best day ever! We are left in breathless suspense to learn what it is.

Becky huddles in Sue's doorway, terrified to interrupt the reverie of doom that has engulfed her office since the amnio had irregularities. Becky does not know the worst part, though; she just knows Sue is having a girl, and when she mentions it Sue softens a bit. Yes, she is having a girl like Becky. Possibly very, very much like Becky. That means it's time for a warm hug that indicates Sue coming to peace with her irregular amnio and what it might mean. Becky offers a parenting tip; "Try to work on your patience." Sue regards her quietly and ponders this. The quality of work that they are getting out of Lauren Potter is becoming consistently excellent and heart-stirring. She's far more accomplished as both a character and as an actor than many of the kids in Glee Club who do not have any challenges. I really liked this brief scene.

And now... Senior Skip Day, Wheelchair Style. Prepared to be inspired! Artie shows Quinn to a skate park that is entirely inhabited by kids like themselves. It's the official location for "Crip Skip!" They should have their own logo and marketing campaign! Quinn isn't sure she's up to roll around in her wheelchair in a skate park, but Artie asks her to trust him, and then we have one of the things that Glee does best - a delightful montage. In one corner, we see the Glee Club arriving at Six Flags to ride rollercoasters. In the other, Artie and Quinn begin to sing Up Up Up as the kids around them skate and speed and twirl and try a wonderful variety of tricks, completely undeterred by the artficial limb here, the wheelchair there. In this skateboard park, where a wheelchair and a ramp can turn into a thrill ride, there are no disabled people, and as the other Glee kids prepare to go over a particularly high drop, Artie coaxes Quinn into going over a steep bank. She flies down, feeling the utter freedom of her wild descent. This may be the most truly effective musical number of the episode, and it features a pairing we have not seen much of. Nicely done. Two thumbs UP UP UP as characters combat a real problem with grace and dignity.

The only problem comes at the end. Quinn thanks Artie for the wonderful day, and Artie says that he wanted her to see other kids having fun in the same situation as Quinn. It is then that Quinn realizes Artie believes her injury to be as permanent as his. Quinn thinks she's going to get better; Artie believes that she needs to accept her situation. When will she face the fact that this is really happening to her? I seem to remember Finn saying something similar to her last year, just as they were breaking up, just before she went completely bonkers. I don't think we are meant to know which of these people is right.

Quinn denial problems - or her supposed denial problems - continue back in school as she struggles to reach her upper locker and keeps spilling things. Joe, who happens to be right there, thinks she should request a lower locker, but Quinn snaps at him. It's her locker. It always has been, and will be until she walks across the stage to get her diploma. I chuckle when she says that: while her dream of walking may be realistic, her time table to get it done is awfully short and seems a bit unlikely to me. Of course the very fact that she's stated this goal indicates to me that walking again on graduation day will probably be her happy ending. Joe asks to walk her to class, and it is clear that his storyline to close this season is to romance Quinn. Hey, he's one of the army of Glee Project Winners. They have to give him something to do.

Joe pushes her wheelchair and tells her he's praying for her. Quinn is happy - Hey, God, Joe would like one miracle cure coming up on the double! - but that's not what he means. It appears that he also wants her to accept whatever happens to her, and Quinn stiffens with anger for a moment. Then she tells Joe that he is inspiring. I'm not sure why - he's cute, and nice, and he sings well, but I am not sure how he's inspirational - and Quinn decides she's going to introduce him to the Glee Club. I will say this: Joe is a Christian character who represents very well. I am happy to have him aboard. Boy, he reminds me of Jason Castro, who is also a soft-spoken, dreadlocked devout Christian with a guitar. I wonder if they used Castro as a model for this character.

And just like that, Joe is in New Directions as everybody in Booty Camp applauds. Puck tells him he has a twig in his hair. Hey, Puck, you have a rat pelt on your bald skull. Coach Sue takes the floor with the kind of carefully calculated line that makes fading celebrities hit the front page of the tabloids when they need a little career boost: "Please don't ask which celebrity is the father of my baby!" This is usually followed by "Please, no autographs! OK, just one." Sue does not feel she's been harsh to the Glee Club... she hasn't mentioned the fact that Mercedes and Sam still radiate sexual frustration around each other, or that the Glee kids keep spending millions of dollars they supposedly don't have on special effects for guest stars. Oops, she just did. And while we are at it, Kurt poops rainbow glitter. He must be a real hit at parties. Then Sue explains why they haven't just written her increasingly irrelevant character off the show (other than the fact that Emmy Winner Jane Lynch would sue them for breach of contract and win.) See, Will needs one adult friend. Sue has forgotten about Beiste, but she does remember that he asked Finn to be his Best Man. If Sue ends up being his Best Frenemy I am just going to die with laughter. Sue also hopes that her daughter will soak up all the positive vibes from these kids, who always get along so well all the time, Kum-bay-yah, and not come out with irregularities. Well, she might still come out with irregularities, Sue, but these kids all did, and now they sing about it. She'll be right at home. In the meantime, they are to work their butts off to win Nationals!

Kurt has dressed up as Wonder Woman. I don't even want to ask.

Blaine is brooding by his locker when a stuffed puppy appears out of nowhere, declares herself to be Margaret Thatcher, and prepares to suspend Parliament. No, actually, it's just Kurt, who no longer fancies himself an amazon and looks fairly conventional at the moment. Rachel demanded that Finn win her a small army of stuffed animals at Six Flags, and Kurt has kidnapped this one to give to Blaine, who refused to attend Senior Skip Day because he was sulking about Cooper. Yes, you heard right. Blaine was so overcome with grief that Cooper forced him to point, he missed the trip to Six Flags. Wouldn't a trip to Six Flags have given him a way to DITCH his brother for a day? Kurt offers a gentle pep talk, pointing out that all brothers fight some times. Well, yes, Porcelain, but they don't force each other to point. You are missing the point. Kurt suggests that he can make up with Cooper - I am still unclear as to why they are fighting, since they are two peas in a pod - by singing to him. It's Blaine song number three on this absolutely awful storyline. Thanks, Kurt. When do you get to sing again?

So Blaine goes to the auditorium and begins singing a breakup song, "Somebody That I Used to Know." Well, Blaine is the king of inappropriate songs. I guess it's supposed to be a song about how bad Cooper makes him feel, but compared to the abuse we've watched these kids give each other and the despair some of them have endured because of it, I just can't work up any enthusiasm for this sniveling. At least Cooper, who joins in the singing because he must, thinks Blaine sang it well for a change. Then Cooper tells Blaine that he puts him down and makes him point at things because Blaine is insanely talented and he's going to be a great mega-star in movies, concerts, and Broadway. Yep., It's complete fan service. However, since half the kids in this show have heard some version of this speech from somebody at some time, it just gets a shrug from me. Yes, they are all insanely talented and they are all going to be megastars, because they are all professional performers who have passed an intense audition process to be on a hit television show. See how that works? And now they are best friends!

By the way, Cooper is not going to be in the next Transformers movie. Michael Bay has figured out that his acting sucks.

Now... are we forgetting anything? Wasn't there a major couple with a big engagement story at some time? Have we forgotten about... oh, there they are! We gotta stuff them in here somewhere! Rachel is almost ready for her NYADA audition, but Finn wonders aloud what they are going to do when he get to New York. He's got this crazy idea... how would she feel about looking for television jobs in California so that he can clean pools with Puck? Rachel's reaction goes something like this:

!!!@@@aRRGSDRSIDJDJDODJIGJHHREIRARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH@@@!

She's not a big fan of the idea. Finn stiffens... shouldn't he have a dream as well? Shouldn't his dreams matter, too? And... does she want to marry him, or her dream of what she wants him to be? That's a legitimate question, even though Finn's new dream is a loaner from Puck. They've been working their way up to this very serious question for some time; while these are both nice kids and they love each other, they are very different and the right life choices for each may not be compatible with those for the other. That's a real problem. It's a realistic, well- thought out story that does not demonize either of them. It's a believable crisis for two people who have been at the heart of this series since the show began, and it's a very logical and natural storyline to follow their aborted attempt to get married. Maybe, just maybe, it was more worthy of being the central storyline of this episode, with two duets and a solo by soul-searching Finn, than the silly self-pity we got with the Dueling Andersons. And you know what? I am not a Finchel Shipper. I just know good story ideas from bad ones.

I think the priorities were completely off here, and each storyline got attention in the inverse proportion to what it deserved.

Next week: It's Saturday Night Glee-Ver! Eight songs! No plot at all!


Thanks so much for this fan community. I am beginning to hate the Glee Forum.

I saw his indignation at your and our negativity. The truth is, he wouldn't care less if you were negative to any other character not named Blaine. And of course, his recap just says everything to me about his opinion of Kurt. He should just be there to pile on the awesomeness and perfection of Blaine. Makes me sick.

When did Bowtie become a moderator?

Glee Forum is becoming a drag.

Oh, yes, I love your recaps!!!!

I still wish you would post the whole recap on Gleeforum as well, Claire.

You have put so much effort in it, and GF is yours too. Now that your recap isn't on Gleeforum people might not read it, when I think that it is essential that as many people as possible read it.
If this opinion does not get heard and is silenced because the Blainers try to take over GF.....then they have won. I will not let the GF, that has many good things and some marvelous posters, get corrupted and destroyed by a few obnoxious stans.
I really feel that it is important that Kurt gets represented in one of the most important and accessible forums of Glee.

BTW: I tried to 'like' your recap blog, but somehow that doesn't work for me. I'll try to figure it out later.

I have never used the ignore features at various forums, but I am tempted to with Bowtie at Glee Forum and she who shall not be named everywhere else.

Oh, for crying out loud, did Bowtie Blaine do a recap now too? Just to combat me? Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time?

^Are you serious? Where? On GF?

BTW: I just had a messy fight over your recap over on GF.
They are really getting ridiculous over there.

I was reading your stuff, they are ridiculous. People bash other actors/characters all the time. But it only becomes a problem with certain characters. I think there is a bias with many of their moderators, it is frustrating.

Three posts in one day, OK, now four, I am becoming a posting fool.

kac wrote:I was reading your stuff, they are ridiculous. People bash other actors/characters all the time. But it only becomes a problem with certain characters. I think there is a bias with many of their moderators, it is frustrating.

What the hell happened today?




At what point did a fictional character become more important than real people?

Glorfindel wrote:^Are you serious? Where? On GF?

BTW: I just had a messy fight over your recap over on GF.
They are really getting ridiculous over there.

Which thread? I never felt confortable over there, so I never posted, but I checked it regularly. Then, when the very blatant stanning by the mods was ruining the Kurt thread, I stopped going. As a mod, you may have faves, but you have to step back a bit and try to see all sides. They clearly never did.

I'm pretty unhappy right now. I do believe I've lost my audience and killed my blog.

CloveGlee wrote:I'm pretty unhappy right now. I do believe I've lost my audience and killed my blog.

I don't think you have at all. Be optimistic.

Sorry, I thought it was removed. Got a bit carried away there.

I wont have any rant at the moment, but if it gets worse I will.

I can't believe how many have now left the Kurt/Blaine thread now.

Hey, there is a star next to your blog with popular in it. What does that mean? Does that mean there are ones on the forum that just haven't commented because of the stans, and just selected like.

And your whole blog is there, in full. We do have one or two Mods on our side, but I can't remember who they are.

what happend? Claire's blog is still there. why is it "killed"? sorry I just got home and cant figure out what's going on. the new GF seems to slow down my pc so much that I rarely go there anymore, and 9 out of 10 posting would take multiple tries to get through... either my pc is too old or the new GF required more computing power. anyway can someone tell me what made Claire unhappy today?

I think I just had a dumb moment.

You have sixteen likes, so people are reading your blog and like it.

kac wrote:Three posts in one day, OK, now four, I am becoming a posting fool.

keep on posting girl! I think i can do 100 in a day. trust me it's not that hard.

fantastica wrote:

kac wrote:Three posts in one day, OK, now four, I am becoming a posting fool.

keep on posting girl! I think i can do 100 in a day. trust me it's not that hard.

You are my inspiration, and hell, my namesake too.

I am spending more and more time on this board, and much less on Glee Forum. I am not a Blaine hater, but I am totally frustrated over his incredible amount of songs, and Kurt's lack. Sure, Kurt has an on-going story, and Blaine has squat, except for angst over his brother getting attention, but the amount of time they spend on Kurt's story, NYADA, and time on Blaine's singing is markedly different.

I enjoy your recaps very much, and read every single one of them. I like the snack, and the Kurt friendly biase. Kurt has gotten a lot more flack for a lot less reason that most other characters, and I love having this place to just bask in others who feel as I do.

I am pretty sure if blaine is treated like Rory or Sam or Artie or any of other members hardly anybody would hate him. or if blarren is on another show - I don't care - I may not even know his existence. Most of us don't hate him as an individual - but we hate his over-exposure on this show. the good thing is,

Spoiler:

Would you all do me a favor? If you belong to some other online community, like TWoP or some other TV fan forum, would you let them know about my blog? I need some inbound links so that Google can find my blog, (it's SEO talk, and a long story) and after the crap that went down today, I may need some new audience members. Surely there are people out there who enjoy a snarky review?

Hey, Kim... do you know that for sure?

Sure, will do.

claire, i just posted hte link on P-F. In a comment within the BG song post but that's all I can do. If I try to put an individual post/new topic there it will likely be deleted, since the mod there won't allow topic that's clearly not Kurt-centric.

I don't belong to other sites/forums. I just don't have time to. I am mainly here.

That's just great. Thank you.

Hi Claire, I'm glad you have decided to post your recaps here

I've previously posted my thoughts about your recap at the Snark & Bark (inappropriately, I might add), but I'll move them here as it's more appropriate.

I had wanted to comment directly on your blog page, but for some reason it wouldn't let me use my livejournal account and it kept on blocking my submission with a 'Your OpenID credentials could not be verified' message. Even the g+1 thingy seems to be complicated, but I'm sure I'll work out how to do it properly at some point.
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Here are some of my thoughts after reading the recap:

Thanks for pointing out the funny tidbit about Brittany taking photos with the lens cap still on the camera.

Yeah, it is a surprise that Kurt would be the first to crack under Sue's iron-fisted reign of Booty Camp, when he was one of the few kids who had trained as a Cheerio under her and even helped her win Nationals. I suppose Kurt wasn't expected to dance much when he was a Cheerio. Sigh... I want my Celine Dion medley, even if Kurt's voice wouldn't suit it.

You know, I was kinda expecting to see you comment on the piano man (Brad?) openly delighting in Sue's ill treatment of Mercedes's phone; and was surprised you didn't

Hmm... I don't quite get the 'Anderson Cooper' joke though (forgive my ignorance). There was even a 'Blaine Cooper' mentioned at some point and I wasn't sure if it was an extension of a joke or a typo.

Emile, another poster here, had mentioned Chris's little joke about Blaine Anderson... Cooper during one of the Klaine skits last year. I wonder if the writers stole the 'Cooper' name from Chris as well, or whether it's just a coincidence?

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I've just been through your recap thread at GF. To be honest, I have tried to look for you recap there at GF before this but for some reason, I couldn't find the 'Big Brother' subforum. Maybe that had been a blessing in disguise. I'm sorry for the tense and unfriendly atmosphere that you have to endure at that thread. I felt uncomfortable seeing those two mods there ganging up on you. Well, one was specifically targeting you, but the other was arguing more with Glorfindel; but both of them were clearly defending Blaine/Darren. I think I won't venture out of the Kurt Hummel subforum from now on.

Frankly speaking, I think your recap was actually quite restrained when it came to snarking about Blaine (Hmm, I think that may be the consequence of spending too much time at the Snark and Bark ). But I have to say, if it were any other character, you won't have 2 mods jumping on your bones like that.