Re: Bistro on the corner

brisallie 5/16/2012, 11:36 pm

arina wrote:I feel bad. I had best friend named Karolina since I was 5 till I was 14. We were like twins, alwas together. Then she started changing, we were in touch but not best friends anymore. I don't know when exactly was it, but then she started taking drugs, left school, left her grandparents she lived with. Couple of things disappeared from my room, so I assume she took them. We tried to get her on rehab, but she didnt stay there. She started working as a prostitute. I saw her back then couple of times but I didn have anything to talk about with her anymore. I am not used to seeing people who takes drugs so I never knew if she was drugged in that particular moment or if she was just like that in normal moment but she was always very weird. I didn't see her maybe three years now until few minutes ago. She wanted to sleep here and I said no to her. She begged me but I refused. I am scared that she is can be sick, also I don't want her to steal anything. But she looked scared and I feel weird and bad. It woud never occur to me that girl who I used to spent my childhood with would end like this. Always when I see her the memories are coming back.
Sorry for this weird post I just needed to vent it a little.

Oh girl, though it had been painful for you not accept you friend stay at your house, I think it was the best decision because I know you want to help her to due to the reason she's still your friend and no one who take away those memories and feelings from childhood but I'm afraid she could drags you to her personal problems and honestly that not gonna be emotionally healthy for you. Personally I think her parents are the ones wo have to take care of her not you, and if you still feel concerned about her, why don't help her through her parents but as I said before keeping the distance? By other side, sadly the girl you knew when you were a child is not there anymore, I mean is there under all the drugs layers

arina 5/17/2012, 1:25 am

Thank you, I hope I made a good choice but it wasn't easy. She doesn't have a parents, she lived with her grandparents since she was a child and I don't think they talk to her anymore after all these things she did to them. Actually I met her grandparents few times and I always wanted to ask about her but I didn't because I didn't want to bring these bad memories to them. I dont know how they are now, it all was very hard for them.

Delight 5/17/2012, 10:55 am

I'm sorry to hear that. That was a very difficult position she had placed you in; and it's not really fair on you. How can someone whom you have no contact with for 3 years show up suddenly, without warning, and expect favours to be granted?

Your friend sounds like she needs a lot more help than what you can realistically provide. It's not as simple as providing a place for her to bunk down for the night. There is a very real risk that she would end up making her problems your problems.

I gather that you're still troubled by your own decision to turn her away. Is there's any other way to help her, without getting involved directly? From the sounds of her home situation, it doesn't look likely.

I think, given her problems with drug addiction, she should seek medical help and go for rehab again. If she's serious about turning her life around, she would make the effort. Unless she makes that decision to make a better life for herself, you wouldn't be able to help her.

Jellyrolls 5/17/2012, 11:32 am

arina wrote:I feel bad. I had best friend named Karolina since I was 5 till I was 14. We were like twins, alwas together. Then she started changing, we were in touch but not best friends anymore. I don't know when exactly was it, but then she started taking drugs, left school, left her grandparents she lived with. Couple of things disappeared from my room, so I assume she took them. We tried to get her on rehab, but she didnt stay there. She started working as a prostitute. I saw her back then couple of times but I didn have anything to talk about with her anymore. I am not used to seeing people who takes drugs so I never knew if she was drugged in that particular moment or if she was just like that in normal moment but she was always very weird. I didn't see her maybe three years now until few minutes ago. She wanted to sleep here and I said no to her. She begged me but I refused. I am scared that she is can be sick, also I don't want her to steal anything. But she looked scared and I feel weird and bad. It woud never occur to me that girl who I used to spent my childhood with would end like this. Always when I see her the memories are coming back.
Sorry for this weird post I just needed to vent it a little.

Lenka, you made the right decision for you. Although I'm sure it was difficult to turn her away, you have to do what you need to do to keep yourself safe, and to keep your home environment a place where you can feel safe. Allowing her into your home for a night could lead to her coming back for a place to sleep, and lead to her asking for money, or as you said stealing stuff. If she comes back, perhaps you can say you can't offer her a place to stay but direct her to someplace where she could get help.

Drug addiction is a scary thing, and rehab isn't an option until the addict is ready to make it work. Sadly, even when rehab works, it is often only a temporary fix--a large percentage of addicts who become sober wind up returning to their old demons.

So hang in there and be strong, Lenka. Stand your ground. And if it gets to much, we're here for you, or don't be afraid to seek out counselors or a support group for people who are friends or relatives of addicts.

paulopf 5/19/2012, 12:16 am

Today I had the full "honorary girl" experience and I must say I enjoyed it. ptdr

fantastica 5/19/2012, 12:28 am

Kurt Hummel 5/19/2012, 12:55 am

In my Algebra II class, I have two forien exchange students and they sit by me. A couple days ago, this one kid had a toy polar bear that his girlfriend gave him. One of the exchange students is from Austrilla and she said, "I like your bear. What's his name?" then the guy replied, "Glacier." but the girl didn't hear him then after a couple times the guy behind her is like, "Glacier!' and the girl was like, "Oh Glay-see-er." and everyone around her including me was like, Razz

. I've always said it like glay-sher.

brisallie 5/19/2012, 3:01 am

paulopf wrote:Today I had the full "honorary girl" experience and I must say I enjoyed it.

What???

Please Paulo you have to explain us that Razz

please!

Kurt Hummel 5/19/2012, 5:44 am

paulopf wrote:Today I had the full "honorary girl" experience and I must say I enjoyed it.

Yes. Please explain it.

paulopf 5/19/2012, 2:08 pm

brisallie wrote:
paulopf wrote:Today I had the full "honorary girl" experience and I must say I enjoyed it.

What??? Please Paulo you have to explain us that please!

Kurtsie4ever wrote:
paulopf wrote:Today I had the full "honorary girl" experience and I must say I enjoyed it.

Yes. Please explain it.

It's nothing disrespectful. It's just that I spent the whole afternoon with my female co-workers, playing bartender for them, participating (as far as possible) in their conversations about different subjects, including some that, well are not really grazed by my regular crowd, which consists mostly of guys. Someone even tried to iron my hair and I was asked to provide advice about how to treat guys my age, since some of my co-workers' kids are, well, guys around my age. And we talked recipes, which I love, though I don't regularly cook, but when I really try, I don't burn stuff.

Emile 5/19/2012, 2:39 pm

^Sounds thrilling. Razz

paulopf wrote:Someone even tried to iron my hair

AH!

brisallie 5/19/2012, 3:13 pm

paulopf wrote:

It's nothing disrespectful. It's just that I spent the whole afternoon with my female co-workers, playing bartender for them, participating (as far as possible) in their conversations about different subjects, including some that, well are not really grazed by my regular crowd, which consists mostly of guys. Someone even tried to iron my hair and I was asked to provide advice about how to treat guys my age, since some of my co-workers' kids are, well, guys around my age. And we talked recipes, which I love, though I don't regularly cook, but when I really try, I don't burn stuff.

Yep it sounds totally like a girl chatting but at least you had fun.

Shinra17 5/19/2012, 3:18 pm

Emile wrote:
paulopf wrote:Someone even tried to iron my hair
AH!

~~Just iron and not cut?~~ Mad

bah, I can do the honorary girl anytime but my female friends don't like it, I'm too "direct" or "blunt" for them lol.

brisallie 5/19/2012, 3:47 pm

Shinra17 wrote:
Emile wrote:
paulopf wrote:Someone even tried to iron my hair
AH!
~~Just iron and not cut?~~

bah, I can do the honorary girl anytime but my female friends don't like it, I'm too "direct" or "blunt" for them lol.

What kind of comments do you shinra? I'm afraid hahahaah

paulopf 5/19/2012, 3:56 pm

Shinra17 wrote:
~~Just iron and not cut?~~

Smiles won't save you from my fair rage.

Shinra17 wrote: bah, I can do the honorary girl anytime but my female friends don't like it, I'm too "direct" or "blunt" for them lol.

You sound horrible. I, on the other hand, am a sweet, adorable person, so they loved me and are already looking forward to having me again among them.

~~And you're making me develop a bah fetish~~. miamiam

paulopf 5/19/2012, 3:59 pm

brisallie wrote:
Yep it sounds totally like a girl chatting but at least you had fun.

They're all very smart people with very strong, charismatic personalities, to the point where they can intimidate me, so actually it was relaxing to hear them talk about most trivial, day to day things. Of course I had fun. They're lovely. wub

Shinra17 5/19/2012, 4:54 pm

brisallie wrote:
Shinra17 wrote:
Emile wrote:
paulopf wrote:Someone even tried to iron my hair
AH!
~~Just iron and not cut?~~
bah, I can do the honorary girl anytime but my female friends don't like it, I'm too "direct" or "blunt" for them lol.

What kind of comments do you shinra? I'm afraid hahahaah

bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

brisallie 5/19/2012, 5:15 pm

paulopf wrote:

They're all very smart people with very strong, charismatic personalities, to the point where they can intimidate me, so actually it was relaxing to hear them talk about most trivial, day to day things. Of course I had fun. They're lovely.

I know. Sometimes older people could be very intimidated and I don't know how is in your case but sometimes I see myself being really shy to talk to them due to the age barier or simply they treated me like their daughter or little sister.

Shinra17 wrote:
brisallie wrote:

What kind of comments do you shinra? I'm afraid hahahaah
bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

Oh My! I'm like your friend!!! So thanks for those words Shinra. I know love is not a logical thing but most of the time I'm afraid I could be rejected and rejection is sth I can't accept easily. Umm for me you're honest and an spontaneous boy.

Delight 5/20/2012, 9:48 am

Shinra17 wrote:
bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

Gosh, you're too clinical about matters of the heart Razz

But faster heart and respiratory rates can be caused by things other than love. What if the poor girl is just having a panic attack? tonguue

brisallie 5/20/2012, 2:55 pm

Delight wrote:
Shinra17 wrote:
bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

Gosh, you're too clinical about matters of the heart

But faster heart and respiratory rates can be caused by things other than love. What if the poor girl is just having a panic attack?

Panic attack?! Poor of her.

So what about the butterflies in the stomach? Isn't a warning about your feelings?

Ireth 5/20/2012, 7:59 pm

brisallie wrote:
Delight wrote:
Shinra17 wrote:
bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

Gosh, you're too clinical about matters of the heart

But faster heart and respiratory rates can be caused by things other than love. What if the poor girl is just having a panic attack?

Panic attack?! Poor of her.

So what about the butterflies in the stomach? Isn't a warning about your feelings?

It means you ate some very hardy caterpillar eggs Smile

Shinra17 5/21/2012, 4:51 pm

Ireth wrote:
brisallie wrote:
Delight wrote:
Shinra17 wrote:
bah, yesterday, one of my closest friend talked with me about the guy she thought she began to fall in love with but she was not sure about her feelings. I told her I don't understand how can people not be sure of their feelings, she just has to listen to her heartbeat, if it gets speeded-up when she sees him, if she begins to breath faster when he's around, then she's fallen for him, love is not an intellectual thing. She laughed and she said I was too cold lol.

Gosh, you're too clinical about matters of the heart

But faster heart and respiratory rates can be caused by things other than love. What if the poor girl is just having a panic attack?

Panic attack?! Poor of her.

So what about the butterflies in the stomach? Isn't a warning about your feelings?

It means you ate some very hardy caterpillar eggs

Romina's stomach seems to be an interesting ecosystem... moque

fantastica 5/21/2012, 5:30 pm

so what if I eat chicken eggs?????

paulopf 5/21/2012, 6:00 pm

I'm very excited cause the winged shoes I plan to use as part of my notwedding outfit arrived today. Smile

brisallie 5/21/2012, 6:16 pm

Shinra17 wrote:
Romina's stomach seems to be an interesting ecosystem...

No, well it is when I eat things out of my daily diet but promise I don't eat insects Razz

.Besides you know I was referring to that cliche that people feel "butterflies in the stomach" when they're in love

fantastica wrote:so what if I eat chicken eggs?????

Don't tell me it provokes "bird flu" or "avian flu"- which is the same. lol

paulopf wrote:I'm very excited cause the winged shoes I plan to use as part of my notwedding outfit arrived today.

Your celebration is today? Congrats Paulo :D and please I want a picture of those shoes.

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